Excerpt for Nicu - The Littlest Vampire by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

Nicu – The Littlest Vampire


The Super Fang Box Set


By


Elias Zapple



Book One – Fangless


Book Two – Big Fangs


Book Three – Blood, Blood Everywhere


Book Four – Dead Again


Illustrated by Reimarie Cabalu


Copyright Elias Zapple, 2017


Smashwords Edition


Disclaimer


This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real persons or vampires, living or dead or undead, is purely coincidental.



Dedication


For


Laura the Mischievous Lemur





Contents


Title

Disclaimer

Dedication


Chapter One – Romania

Chapter Two – Nicu

Chapter Three – Breakfast

Chapter Four – Florin and Felix

Chapter Five - Playground

Chapter Six – Doctor Hans Smell Singh

Chapter Seven – The Fang Fairy

Chapter Eight – On Top of the Mountain

Chapter Nine – Home

Chapter Ten – A New Night

Chapter Eleven – Fangs at Last

Chapter Twelve – Return to the Playground


Who is Elias Zapple?

Also by Elias Zapple

A Request from Elias Zapple


1

Romania

In Eastern Europe there’s a country called Romania, and in Romania there’s a region called Transylvania. In the south and east of Transylvania there are mountains called the Carpathian Mountains, and in the deepest darkest valley of the Carpathian Mountains, surrounded by tall dead trees without a leaf to be found, there’s a house.

This was no ordinary house like you or I live in. This was a dark, crooked and grim-looking house, with grime, dust and cobwebs all over it, and indeed, in it. This house also had no doors, as the occupants did not need doors. For all they needed were windows to fly in and out of.

Now unless you just picked up or downloaded this book without somehow looking at the title and jumped to this bit, then perhaps you would assume that this house was occupied by birds, or by people trying to be a bit different. You’d be wrong. For this house was occupied by a family of vampires, and every night these vampires would turn into bats and fly out of the windows in search of humans, so that they could drink the humans’ blood and satisfy their hunger.



2

Nicu

The youngest of this family of vampires was Nicu, a 9 year-old vampire who was podgy, and very short for his age. However, that was the least of his problems, as he was also fangless.

Like human beings when getting their adult teeth, vampires normally get their fangs at any point after the age of 6, (normally between 6 and 8). Unlike Nicu, his older, spiky-haired brother Adam had a great set of fangs, the sharpest in all of Romania for his age, and had gotten them when he had just turned 6.

He was also an expert at turning into a bat, flying, and biting a human’s neck within the time it took Nicu to unscrew his bottle of freshly-drained blood – this was a ready-made drink for young vampires before they got their fangs, for if vampires don’t drink blood they turn into vegetarian cats, and as there’s not a lot of vegetables in the Carpathian Mountains that pretty much means certain death.

Nicu’s parents were tall, slender with cold-dead eyes, and who always dressed as if about to go ballroom dancing. They were also known to be two of the most bloodthirsty vampires in all of Romania.

Poor Nicu!



3

Breakfast

After the sun had set at around 8:30pm, there was a creaking in Nicu’s family’s cellar. The cellar was dusty, had cobwebs everywhere and lit candles hanging on the walls. There were also four coffins inside. All of the coffins’ lids slid open, and from the smallest coffin Nicu stepped out. He was dressed in black shorts, a white shirt and a black mini-cape with his family’s insignia on it, which comprised of two fangs with blood dripping from them. The rest of his family also emerged from their respective coffins. Nicu stretched and yawned, then pulled a spider from out of his ear.

“Spidey! You can’t keep sleeping in my ear!” Nicu said to Spidey the Spider. He then shrugged his shoulders, and popped Spidey the Spider into his mouth and ate him.

“Nicu! Stop eating spiders! Oh darling, when is this shameless boy going to get his fangs and become a real vampire?” his mum said before weeping, tears streaming down her pale-white cheeks and onto her bright blood-red dress.

“Nicu, you horrible creature, look what you’ve done! You’ve made your mother cry. Is it not enough that we have to deny that you’re our son and claim that you’re a lab experiment that went wrong, but now you have to make your mother cry too?” his dad said giving Nicu a cold hard stare before dusting off the tuxedo he was wearing.

“But… it’s just a sp…” Nicu stuttered.

“Nice going, toothy,” said Adam, dressed as though he’s about to go skateboarding.

“I didn’t mean to!” Nicu pleaded, huffing and puffing, his face reddening.

“Enough! Let’s go for breakfast and discuss this later.”

His parents and brother went upstairs followed by Nicu, who stomped behind them.



“I hate this family!”

“Stop stomping, Nicu!”

Unlike human beings who sleep during the night and wake once the sun rises and then have breakfast, vampires sleep during the day, and once the sun has gone down go to have breakfast – this is because if vampires are out when the sun is, they turn into beetroot – and nobody likes beetroot.

The other main difference between humans and vampires is what they have for breakfast. Whereas humans will sit down at a table and have orange juice, tea, eggs, toast and cereal; vampires will always pop out to have their breakfast. Not pop out to a Denny’s or McDonald’s or some local café, but instead go to somebody’s house and dine on people’s necks. Vampires don’t need to eat - all they need is blood… except Nicu, who enjoyed snacking on insects and arachnids.

In the candle-lit lounge with its creaking wooden floors and dust covered furniture, Nicu’s parents and brother got ready to go out. Nicu slumped down in a chair knowing that he couldn’t go due to his being fangless and there being no need. In front of him on the table he had a bottle of cool, crisp, freshly-drained cow’s blood that he occasionally sipped from.

Adam sat down and put his arm around Nicu. “Nicu, don’t let what mum and dad said get you down. I know that one day you’ll get your fangs.”

“You mean it, Adam?” Nicu had a glint in his eye as looked up at Adam.

“No way, dude! I was barely 6 when I got mine, fangfully! Enjoy your bottle of cow’s blood, loser!” Adam spun around and in a flash turned into a bat. Adam then flew over to Nicu and slapped the top of his head with his bat wings before flying out the window.

“I hate you, Adam!” Nicu shook his fist at Adam.





“Don’t be so horrible to your brother, Nicu!” his mum scolded. “Oh darling, without human blood, Nicu’s getting mean and hateful! Cow’s blood is not nearly as nutritious, or as good as human blood!”

“The little cockroach needs his fangs! What is a vampire without fangs? What is a zebra without its stripes?”

“A horse?” Nicu offered.

His parents stared long and hard at him, then put on their capes.

“Every vampire dentist and doctor in the land has seen him, and still he remains fangless,” his hysterical mum wailed.

Not every vampire dentist, nor doctor. There is one left.”

Nicu looked up, eyebrows raised. He drank more from his bottle of blood.

“Who?” asked his mum.

“Yes, who?”

“Quiet, worthless boy! Doctor Hans Smell Singh – the greatest vampire doctor there’s ever been!”

“But he’s a madman!” cried his mum.

“Yes, a madman for a mad son.” His dad held his cape to cover his face then turned into a bat, flew over to Nicu, slapped him across the ear with his wings then flew out the window.

“My son, my son, my fangless son!” His mum covered herself up with her cape, turned into a bat, flew over to Nicu, slapped him across the face, then flew out the window.

Why did everybody have to slap him before leaving? Every day it was the same! “Stop hitting me! I hate it!”

His dad flew back in and whacked him across the face with his bat wings. “Worthless boy!” Then flew back out again.

Nicu slumped further back into his chair, rubbing his now reddish face and ears. What was he going to do? Perhaps this Smelly doctor could really help him?

He went over to a mirror they had and looked into it. Unfortunately, vampires aren’t visible in mirrors, and so why his family even had a mirror was quite confusing for young Nicu. Perhaps his parents got it to test him to see whether he was a vampire or a human. If his reflection had shown, then he was a human, and that would at least explain why he was fangless.

He felt his gums, nothing there - not even a slight bump that might hint his fangs were about to protrude. He went back to his bottle of cow’s blood when there was a tap on the window.



4

Florin and Felix

No need to worry, nothing scary was about to happen. The tapping at the window was just Florin and Felix, two friends of his. In they flew, as they were bats at that moment, then turned back into their vampire selves. Both wore shorts and mini-capes, much like what Nicu wore. Felix was a rather tall and goofy-looking bucktoothed individual, whereas Florin was even podgier than Nicu – even as a bat you could tell which one was Florin, as he was so round and heavy that he looked like a mini-football with wings.

“You’re so fat, Florin. I don’t even know how you can fly!” Nicu said.

“Cause I can drink a lot of blood, how about you, fang-boy?” Florin jumped onto the sofa, not before grabbing Nicu’s bottle of blood, sipping some then spitting it out. “Mmm!” Florin said, his blood-stained teeth clearly visible. “This cow juice is really, really awesome. Much better than human blood.”

“Really?”

“No, Daisy!” Florin laughed.

“I like daisies,” said Felix.

“I have to drink this, otherwise I’d turn into a vegetarian cat! How many times do I have to tell you?”

Felix laughed, a very goofy-sounding laugh.

“It’s not funny! I’d die!”

“Yeah.” Felix was still laughing. “Who’d die?”

“I would!”

“When’s the funeral?”

“You wouldn’t die,” Florin said.



“Yes, I would.”

“I know,” Florin chuckled. “Parents just tell you that stuff to scare you. Like when they tell you there are vampire hunters, or that vampires can’t go near garlic.”

“I’ve had garlic!” Felix shouted.

“No, you haven’t! You don’t even know what garlic is!” Nicu shouted back.

“Oh yeah. What’s garlic again? Why’s your face red? Whose house is this?”

“Everybody keeps hitting me ‘cause I’m still fangless.”

Felix clutched his stomach as he laughed.

“That’s so bad, dude!” Florin put his arm around Nicu.

“Why are you laughing, Florin?”

“Er… you know, just thought of a killer joke about… er…” Florin’s eyes darted this way and that. “…A cow…”

“Liar! Anyway, least people don’t confuse me with a flying furry football!”

“Stop calling me fat!” Florin shouted.

“It’s not fair! Everybody has fangs but me, and I can’t even turn into a bat properly. Sometimes when I try I end up as a sparrow!”

Florin was beside himself, and fell onto the floor laughing, clutching his sides.

“Why’s he laughing?” Felix asked.

“’Cause I sometimes turn into a sparrow.”

Felix joined Florin on the floor, and rolled about with laughter.

“A blood-thirsty sparrow!” Nicu went over to Florin, kicked him in the belly, and poured the rest of his bottle of cow’s blood over him.

“Why don’t you kick Felix?”

“’Cause he can’t help being an idiot, and he doesn’t even know why he’s laughing.”

Florin and Felix got up as Nicu headed over to the window.

“Where you going?” asked Florin.

“School!”

And with that Felix turned back into a bat, Florin into a bat and Nicu into a sparrow, then back to himself then back to a sparrow then back to himself, before eventually turning himself into a sparrow again, and then back to himself before finally getting it right and into a bat.

The trio flew out of the window and headed towards school.



5

Playground

It was 1 a.m. and all the young vampires were in the playground of their scary-looking, 19th century school for their ‘lunch’ break. Nicu was in a corner with Florin and Felix, when a small mob of girl and boy vampires descended upon and surrounded them, pointing and shouting,

“Fangless, fangless, fangless!”

“We’re not fangless, he is!” shouted Florin.

Felix then stood with the mob, laughing and pointing and joined in, “Gangless, gangless, gangless!”

“Shut up!” screamed Nicu.

Florin stepped over to Nicu. “I just want you to know that even though you are fangless, I still really, really, hate you.”

“How are you my friends?”

“That’s what friends are for.”

Felix came over. “I really hate vampires.”

“I don’t care what you guys say! I’m going to see Doctor Hans Smell Singh!”

“No, you’re not!” Florin said.

“Yes, I am! And he’s going to cure me and when he does, everybody had better watch out.” The boys and girls stopped shouting ‘fangless’ as Nicu pointed at all of them, chest thrust out. “And when I do get my fangs, they’re going to be the best fangs ever, and I’m going to bite all of you!”





And with that he spun around and turned into a sparrow then back into a vampire then finally into a bat, as all the other vampire kids laughed at his attempts, clutching their stomachs and falling about.

“What kind of bird does Nicu turn into?” Felix asked.

Florin stared at Felix. “A parrot.”

“Oh. I like it when he turns into a parrot. I was once a parrot.”

“Yes you were, fruit bat.” Florin pointed at his head and twirled his finger.

“Not a fruit bat, a parrot!”

Nicu soared away and into the night sky. “Everybody keeps picking on me, teasing me and slapping me with their wings. I can’t help being fangless. Nobody cares!”

Tears seeped out of his bat eyes as he flew over the tiny, old village of Biertan, (vampires referred to Biertan by another name, Cină which means dinner), past its fortified church and red roofed houses. He stopped by one house and looked through an opened bedroom window in which a nightlight glowed. Inside, in two separate beds, were two children sleeping peacefully as two vampires bit into their necks drinking their blood.

“I bet that tastes so good!”

Nicu flapped his wings then took off and out of the village, leaving all the vampires behind, and went over to a ledge on a mountainside. He turned back into a vampire and sat himself down. He sighed a huge sigh as he looked on out over a valley of the Carpathian Mountains.

“I hate my life, I hate everything. Why am I a vampire?” He shouted at the top of his voice.

Just then his mum and dad flew up to him and slapped him a couple of times each.

“Nicu, stop shouting! But it’s a good question and one we hope to solve now. We’re off to see Doctor Hans Smell Singh!”




6

Doctor Hans Smell Singh

In a darkened room Nicu lay on an operating table, a bright light shining upon him and his mouth held open with clamps. Stood on a stool peering into Nicu’s mouth was Doctor Hans Smell Singh, a dwarfish man dressed in a checked suit and white coat and who had a face so hairy he kind of resembled a werewolf. Nicu’s parents stood nearby, arm in arm.

“Doctor, will this insult of a child forever be fangless?” Nicu’s dad asked.

Hans continued peering into Nicu’s mouth. His heavy breath smelt of tomatoes. “Hmm, quite interesting.”

“What’s interesting, Doctor?” asked Nicu’s dad.

“Hmm, quite perplexing,” Hans then turned to Nicu’s parents. “He has no fangs!”

Nicu looked at his parents who looked at each other.

“We know that! Oh, is there no helping this child?” his mum said.

Hans toddled over to a cabinet and took out a small jar, then went back over to Nicu. He held the jar up like it was the Holy Grail. “This! This will cure his fang problems.”

“Are you sure, Doctor?” asked his mum.

“We’ve given the little vermin every bit of medicine and still he refuses to grow fangs. He’s an embarrassment!”

“But you have yet to give the fangless little vampire this.”

“What is it?” Nicu mumbled, as he still had the clamps inside his mouth.

“This is a special concoction I have made. It consists of eastern skunk cabbage, rat’s droppings, and many other wonderful things.”




“Huh? What other?” Nicu eyed Hans up and down.

“You don’t want to know, little vampire.” Hans removed the clamps from Nicu’s mouth then took out some clothes pegs from the pocket of his white coat and gave one to Nicu and one each to his parents. Hans clamped a peg onto his nose. “I highly recommend you place these pegs over your noses as these tablets are quite whiffy!” Hans held the jar away from him and started to unscrew the cap. As soon as the cap of the jar was almost off, a gigantic whiff came out and a thunderous noise, shaking all the furniture in the room.

Nicu’s mum started swaying, her eyes rolled up and she fell into his dad’s arms. “I have not yet taken the cap off,” Hans said.

Nicu’s dad glared at Nicu.

“It’s just a fart!”

Hans took off the cap, and a green mist emerged that enveloped the room causing Nicu’s mum to splutter awake. “Oh my! So many foul smells!”

As the green mist cleared, Hans used some tweezers to take out one of the tablets, holding it away from him. Nicu jumped up from the operating table, and away from Hans and his parents. He pointed at the tablet, “I’m not putting that into my mouth!”

“It’s perfectly harmless. Now come back and let me drop it into your mouth.”

“Nicu! Return here at once or else!”

“No!”

“Nicu! Do you want to remain fangless?” Nicu’s dad asked.

Nicu started biting his nails and stared at the ceiling before grumbling. “This stinks!” He went back over to Hans.

“Open wide!” Hans said. Nicu opened his mouth as wide as he could and Hans dropped the round green tablet into his mouth then poured some water in. “Swallow.”

Nicu closed his mouth and gulped it down.

“Oh doctor, how long does this take to work?”

“It is instant! Open your mouth, little vampire.” Nicu did as instructed. “Nothing! No fangs! This is most peculiar.”

“Noooooo! Worthless, worthless abomination!” Nicu’s dad howled.

“Whatever shall we do?” Nicu’s mum threw her hands up in the air.

“Have you put him in front of a mirror?” Hans asked.

“Yes, yes, there was no reflection,” Nicu’s dad said.

“Then there is one last option… my favourite option!” Hans removed a scalpel from his pocket.

Nicu inched away. “What you doing with that thing?”

“We shall have to slice open his gums and pull his fangs out, and if there are no fangs then we must implant some!”

“Splendid!” Nicu’s parents said in unison, as they and Hans crept over to Nicu and started reaching out like three bloodthirsty monsters, which two of them actually were.

“No way!” Nicu spun around, rushed over to the nearest cabinet and thrust himself into it, making it topple over and come crashing down, obstructing his parents and Hans. He then clenched his fists together, puffed out his cheeks, bent his knees, spread his legs slightly apart and let rip a mega fart that lasted for ten seconds, and smelt of eastern skunk cabbage, blood, and whatever Spidey the Spider smelt like.

His parents and Hans skipped over to the other side of the room. “My disgusting medicine!” Hans shouted.

“Boy! Cease your gas expulsions.”

Nicu’s dad and Nicu’s mum then turned into bats.

“You’re all bats!” Nicu rushed over to a door and slammed it shut, just as his parents flew to the door and crashed against it.

“Unwanted child!” Nicu’s dad screamed.




7

The Fang Fairy

Nicu, now as a sparrow…

“No time to change into a bat,” Nicu said. “I hate everybody!”

Flapping his wings as fast as he could, huffing and puffing, he flew far away from his parents and that useless doctor.

Where should he go?

A tear crept out of his eye as he glided over a valley, turning his head this way and that. There wasn’t a sound, aside from the occasional squawk of a crow. He shuddered.

“Nicu!” a voice shouted.

He turned and saw Florin and Felix, both were bats of course, flying up to him.


*


Florin and Felix hung upside down from a branch of a huge tree – as bats always hang upside down - whilst Nicu perched on top of the branch – as he was still a sparrow.

“We’d better stay like this in case my parents come,” said Nicu.

“Why would my parents come?” asked Felix.

“Not yours, mine! Seriously, how did you get to be so stupid?”

“It’s not his fault. Remember that his parents didn’t give him enough blood when he was young,” said Florin.

“Oh yeah, and he was dropped on his head when he was born.”

“Yeah, and I was dropped on my head.”

“I just said that!”

“I mean this morning.”

“He was also given cranberry juice instead of blood for the first two years…”

“So how is he not dead, dead?” asked Nicu. “In fact, forget it. What am I going to do?”

“Dead, dead is alive!”

“I spoke to Daniel, and he said his cousin said that if you go to the highest peak of the mountains an hour before sunrise and call out ‘Fang Fairy’ three times, then the Fang Fairy appears and she’ll grant you your wish,” said Florin.

“Rubbish!”


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